I always find it amusing in a sad sort of way, that so many women I have known have met some man, someone they consider to be mister right, someone whom they love, someone whom they plan to marry, and as soon as they do marry him, the spend the next several years working on changing him. And then, once they change him, they complain that he’s not the man they married. You don’t really know anybody until after a few years, do you? My kung fu teacher, my sifu, says that you don’t really know anybody until you’ve known them ten years, and while that seems like an awfully long...

I would never go skydiving. There are many reasons for this, not the least of which is the somewhat unnatural act of casting oneself from a perfectly safe aircraft for no good reason. However, one of the main reasons why I would never jump out of an airplane is that, from what I understand, you must pack your own parachute. Now I am well aware that how a parachute is packed may well mean the difference between life and death. I am also well aware of how well I make a bed. If I were to pack a parachute with the same deft skill as that which I use to make a bed, then I am doomed for certain. Of course,...

Today, a few days after his birthday, we honor the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. But forty years after his murder his message is lost in the icon of King. Many of us have the day off. People will say kind words about him. Mattress stores will have their holiday sales for people of all colors can now sleep together in peace. People will talk about his dream, but very few people know what that dream was. Martin Luther King was far more complex than the man who stood in Washington D.C. and revealed his dream to the thousands upon thousands standing in hope there. His dream went far beyond racial...

Unlike many men, I like going to weddings. For one thing, it’s fun to see just how ugly a bridesmaid dress can get, it’s fun to see how the ring bearer and flower girl screw things up. I also enjoy watching the wedding because it reminds me of my own. I know a lot of people don’t see any point to weddings and marriage itself has taken quite a hit in the past forty years or so, but I still like the institution. It’s kind of nice to stand there before a group of people, friends and family, and publicly announce your commitment to another person. I realize it doesn’t...

Another in the popular Pat Robertson series: –Hello, Mr. Robertson.  I would like to have a word with you. –What?  Excuse me?  Pam!  PAM! –Your secretary cannot hear you, Mr. Robertson. –Pam!  What did you do to my secretary, you ni… –Now watch your mouth, Mr. Robertson.  I would advise you to keep a civil tongue, if you know how to do that. –Now look you.  I don’t know who you are, or what you’re selling, but you better get your ass out of here before I call security.  And put out that pipe!  There’s no smoking in this building! –You can...

When I was a kid, I used to have to listen to my mom’s stories about her family. These stories used to go all the way back to the very beginnings of our family in America. She used to talk about the Oteros and how they came from Spain with a Spanish land grant. She used to talk about how our family, once upon a time, used to own all of what is now Tucson, Arizona. She used to tell us stories about how they were wealthy in cattle. And I used to listen to these stories and think, yeah, right. Then how come we’re so poor now? Then I would hear the story of the daughter who was cut off,...

I Am 55 Today I Am I have seen fifty-five times the promise of light I have seen the rise of the Titan rocket and the fall of the Challenger I have seen the rise of Camelot and the fall of a president I have seen the rise of Dylan and the fall of Cobain I have heard the voice of a prophet crying in darkness I saw them kill Martin, kill Malcolm, kill Bobby, kill Jack I saw the rise of our consciousness and the fall of our aspirations I saw burning banks, burning draft cards, burning bras, burning desires I saw Watts burning, Detroit burning, Saigon burning, burning, burning I saw burning Vietnamese...

Today is the feast of the Epiphany. This is, in the Roman Catholic Church, the last day of Christmas. After today, most people take down the Christmas decorations. The tree is now down and the lights all packed until next year. Today’s feast celebrates the arrival of the wise men who came from the east following that star in the sky to a cave in Bethlehem. The word epiphany comes from the Greek word, epiphaneia, which means to appear, or to show. In English, we give the word three meanings. It is, first, of course, this feast day of the Church (since that’s how the word came into the...

I try to do the best I can, The same as any other man To bravely face this coming year, As last year, when it first began I face myself there in the mirror, A few more gray hairs growing here A few more errors understood, My vision just a bit more clear I’ll face the year as children would And hope the future is as good As all the years I’ve gathered in, Remembering to knock on wood. For I know mankind’s greatest sin Is looking back at what has been, And think him master of his soul When watching a new year begin For as the world goes speeding in its course I cannot change it’s...