Another in the popular Pat Robertson series: –Hello, Mr. Robertson.  I would like to have a word with you. –What?  Excuse me?  Pam!  PAM! –Your secretary cannot hear you, Mr. Robertson. –Pam!  What did you do to my secretary, you ni… –Now watch your mouth, Mr. Robertson.  I would advise you to keep a civil tongue, if you know how to do that. –Now look you.  I don’t know who you are, or what you’re selling, but you better get your ass out of here before I call security.  And put out that pipe!  There’s no smoking in this building! –You can...

People were very offended when President Obama received the Nobel Prize for peace this year and rightly so.  After all, we are currently involved in two, count them, two wars.  And seldom have I ever seen a person deliver an acceptance speech that defends warfare while receiving a peace prize.  You have to admit that takes balls.  Even GW never would have done that, I’m sure.  But then GW probably would have figured that only a pussy would accept a peace prize. Anyway, with all the attention on the Nobel Prizes this year, it is not surprising that, yet again, the media failed to properly...

I have been reading the psychic predictions for the upcoming year, 2010, and I have to tell you it doesn’t look good.  According to the psychics, we can expect a year of turmoil.  Apparently, there will be civil war in the United States.  Some see a total collapse in our economy.  Others see an assassination attempt against the president.  There are some who see the beginning of the end of the world, with the return of Jesus coming sometime in the fall. Naturally, these predictions are rather upsetting.  And we can see how accurate those psychics are, as we look back at 2009 as seen through...

Sometimes I lose things. Being old, that doesn’t surprise me. It happens. There are books of which I was sure I knew their whereabouts, then I go to get them out off the shelf, and they aren’t there. And at work I am always losing paperwork. I put some important form down on my desk and then three days later when I need it, it is nowhere to be found. I have even had to request new forms from time to time to replace the ones I’ve lost. And then I once lost a twenty-dollar bill. I had it in my pocket, then later in the day, in the cafeteria, I went to pull it out and it was gone....

God Rest ye, ye olde Democrats You’re finally in control But Lieberman took all your gifts And left you lumps of coal Of course the nations so in debt We’re really in a hole Oh tidings of taxes and of war Taxes and war Oh tidings of taxes and of war The house has passed a health care bill The senate passed one too There’s not much good in either one And so what else is new? The times are better now, they say, Except for me and you Oh tidings of taxes and of war Taxes and war Oh tidings of taxes and of war Obama got a prize for peace While sending us to war The nations going quite insane What’s...

Well, I think it’s about time that I delved into the history of Christmas. I know everyone has been waiting for me to tackle this one. The truth is, overdone displays notwithstanding, that I really love the Christmas season. On those rare occasions when I’ve been in the chips I have taken a good deal of pleasure in finding gifts for the people I love. I love everything about Christmas. I love the songs. I love the lights. I love the sappy Christmas movies. I never get tired of It’s a Wonderful Life. And Love Actually is one of my new favorites. I proposed to my wife right before going in...

After having given my thoughts to issues such as the erosion of our civil liberties, war, the crisis in education, the history of just about everything, philosophy and religion, I thought it might be time to turn my attention to a really serious subject, Godzilla. Now we all know that Godzilla is the English name for this 100 meter creature, Gojira being the Japanese name. That just should go without saying at this point. Having just spent a morning watching a film in which Godzilla was engaged in combat with Mothra, the giant moth, I cannot help but contemplate the mystery that is the atomic breath...

Since it is going to be Thanksgiving, I thought I would leave a blog appropriate to the occasion. As you who have read my previous blogs know, my family had several people on the Mayflower. Most of them lived to attend that first Thanksgiving. They are: Thomas Rogers, John Bundy, Anna Churchman, Walter Deane, John Gilbert, John Howland, John Rogers, John Stong, Samuell Williams, Sarah Williams, and Thomas Williams. Two of them, Thomas Rogers, and Thomas Williams even signed that famous document, The Mayflower Compact along with Miles Standish and John Alden on November 11, 1620. They weren’t...

This is a work of Fiction:  Any resemblance to an actual person should be inferred.  After all, who would be this stupid? In the offices of a certain religious broadcasting network: –No, Paul, I don’t know what we’re gonna do. This idiot in the White House is a real problem. So far, we’ve been able to keep him from doing anything, but I don’t know how long that’s going to last. Before you know it, we’re going to have the gays getting married, and after that? Who knows? Dogs marrying cats? It’s just getting out of hand! I tell ya, somebody better do something! And now there’s...

“Any resemblance to any living person, living or dead, is purely a figment of your imagination.” One day, in the offices at CBN: –So what do you think, Mr. Robertson? Is there a place for my ministries on CBN? –I don’t know, Ted. The people have a long memory. –But I was cured! –I don’t know…can you BE cured of being a faggot? –You know I don’t like that word, Pat. –Damn it, Ted. You should have known better. –Come on, Pat. I thought that when the guy asked if I wanted a “happy ending”, he was talking about my revival meetings....