Quiet lying, laid out there

I wanted so to comb his hair

And close his mouth still open wide

To see him thus seemed so unfair

A man of dignity and pride

They laid his hands down by his side

Eyes closed as not to stare in space

And still the fear of night implied

There was no peace upon his face

He did not greet the dark with grace

He did not leave on his own terms

When angels chose to end his race

To stand before him now affirms

We all were born to feed the worms

Wilson/06

Unseen and yet as solid as a stone

A voice that screams

While words remain unspoken

Regrets and dreams

Pass for thoughts unknown

I pretend that I don’t see it

But it’s there, and it does not let me rest

It pinches me

Like a pebble in my shoe

Has come to be

A hunger in my chest

I have crafted it stone by stone

This wall between us solidly I built

With what I’ve done

And what I have failed to do

And then I run

Away from all my guilt

There is no place for me to go

This prison has been all my own design

It was, you see

A moment without thinking

If I could be

A new skin for this wine

How I wish I could undo things

This loss is more than you could ever know

I let my pride

Stand between us, me and you

And how I’ve cried

For help to let it go

Wilson/06

Standing on the corner
Begging for a buck
Stands a lonely beggar
A little down upon his luck
Not the kind of guy
you or I might want to see
What you do to the least of these
You do to me

Blessed are the poor in spirit
They shall have their fill
People do not understand
I guess they never will

Give us this day, our daily bread
And shield us from all pain
Help me in my disbelief
Help me to see again
Help me in my disbelief
Help me to see again

After all you’ve been given
Ain’t it time to give some back?

Wilson/10

I have seen fifty-five times the promise of light

I have seen the rise of the Titan rocket and the fall of the Challenger

I have seen the rise of Camelot and the fall of a president

I have seen the rise of Dylan and the fall of Cobain

I have heard the voice of a prophet crying in darkness

I saw them kill Martin, kill Malcolm, kill Bobby, kill Jack

I saw the rise of our consciousness and the fall of our aspirations

I saw burning banks, burning draft cards, burning bras, burning desires

I saw Watts burning, Detroit burning, Saigon burning, burning, burning

I saw burning Vietnamese napalm girl crying to the camera lens

I saw Cambodia Khymer Rouge killing fields skulls and tibias

I saw Neil Young walk on the moon long before Neil Armstrong ever took the sky

I have seen world war three nuclear holocaust in my lunchbox

I have seen Bikini atoll burning death roasting pig flesh screaming

I have seen baton back breaking Chicago pigs beating the innocents

I have seen four dead Kent State students blood on the grass

I have seen Lennon, better than Jesus, tell us love is all we need so we killed him

I heard George longing for Krishna, and so God killed him.

I stood in the Sea of Tranquility and looked back at the earth

I followed Cesar brown beret Lady of Guadalupe no grapes for ten years que viva la raza

El cabrón murió por nuestros pecados.

I have seen the constitution torn to shreds by patriots.

I heard everything my teachers told me about the land of opportunity

I stood in the unemployment line, my back broken from apathy

I followed the preachers of prosperity until I learned you cannot serve two masters

The bastards never kept their promises

I fell in love with mythological visions of Liz and Dick

I fell in love with garage band dreams but Jerry died in rehab and took the dead with him

I fell in love with the sound of my own words but now we’re just good friends

One foot in the Great Depression and One foot in the Great Society

I have learned not to believe everything I hear.

I have learned not to believe my eyes

I have learned to develop a sense of the absurd, a strange metamorphosis

Kafka could write for Hollywood and create a sureality program.

I have lived fifty-five years

I have seen my boys to men

There are fewer years ahead than behind

I am over halfway home

I can see it just ahead

Almost there

Almost

there

Wilson

The same as any other man

To bravely face this coming year,

As last year, when it first began

I face myself there in the mirror,

A few more gray hairs growing here

A few more errors understood,

My vision just a bit more clear

I’ll face the year as children would

And hope the future is as good

As all the years I’ve gathered in,

Remembering to knock on wood.

For I know mankind’s greatest sin

Is looking back at what has been,

And think him master of his soul

When watching a new year begin

For as the world goes speeding in its course

I cannot change it’s path by prayer, or force

Wilson/05

The day will come when fear will let me go

So many fears that I could not forget

And many fears to come I do not know

When my young days were long I was afraid

Of losing love and being left alone

I yearned the comfort of my mother’s words

My father’s arms as strong as any stone

They both held back the perils of the night

That I might set my face to the unknown

In these dim days I find my fears the same

Of being old, and living on my own

Without my heart’s true love to hold my hand

And comfort me when night begins to fall

I fear one day I will call out her name

And she will not answer when I call

And though I know that death could not us part

And what we men call death is but a lie

The thought of losing her would break my heart

Alone I should then be content to die

Those same chains of fear still hold me yet

As much as I might pray it not be so

The old man fears what the child can’t forget

The day will come when fear will let me go

Wilson/07

And some bills I need to send

But, hey, the world’s not going to end

Tomorrow

There’s a friend I need to write

But there’s a movie on tonight

So if I wait it will be all right

Tomorrow

There’s that book I’m working on

And I have yet to mow the lawn

The moments here and then it’s gone

Tomorrow.

And when my yesterdays have passed

And this today becomes my last

The world will still be spinning fast

Tomorrow

Wilson/05

Will stay at rest

Unless somebody moves it

And that my life

Is as it is

Most definitely proves it.

So many things

There are to do

And yet remain undone

And here I am

Still sitting here

With none of them begun

I could get up

And take a walk

Or even wash some dishes

So much of what

We want from life

Lives only in our wishes

So many hats

I might have worn

So many roles to play

I might have even

Changed the world

But here I sit today

A body moves

The way it does

And so will keep on going

What will stop it

Newton said,

There is no way of knowing

Wilson/06

I

Half my life is past

Without a memory

Planting carrots in a garden

Drawing pictures of houses

Making holes in the dirt and my knees

Swinging in swings and climbing on ladders

Singing simple melodies under an ice cream sky

Hour after hour watching the clock in classroom

Make one step backward before striking the time

Flying on my bike past the chain link fences

Until that moment when sun went down and I awakened naked

II

And then went so slowly towards the unrelenting goal

Reading steinbeck and stanlee, singing in anger

Notes chained by convention and sent to perdition empty handed

Half god and half ape unknowing my own divine name I sing alone

Here I claimed to stand for something without understanding or reason

Here I claimed right to be equal with my father whose only attempt to hold me made me rigid

Here I gave up weeping and looked towards the future, sure of my eventual wealth

Here I made my quest the ever present flower of sweet ambrosia guarded by young girls

Here I made my stand against all that pulled me toward the growing chasm of mediocrity

And then I fell

Fell into the growing gap between my expectations and the staggering force of inflation

III

Now, running into the street and taking the first turn into the crowd

Going around the blind corner facing up to my obligations in darkness, I whistled

Giving my time, giving my strenth, giving my blood, giving my sweat, I sang

Step by step by step without stopping, I danced into the main stream being pulled down

Down where all these thousands of years empty into the ocean of torment

Endless attempts to reach shore to pull back to go nowhere to stop moving

If only to stop just long enough to look around to see where this will end

Reaching out to grab onto just a piece of something that might slow the force

Only to take all that I hold onto with me down, going down, down into the deep water

IV

This is the understanding

Finally we have come to an agreement

I will continue to continue going down forever until I come

To the mouth, to the source of all waters, I will flow,

Flow with the raging waters, singing its praises, I will flow

Flow with the torrents around the rocks in swirls and eddys

Flow with the branches and leaves and refuse water has torn from shore

Flow going down around corners and flow under bridges, I will flow

Flow knowing only the direction of winter, I will flow

Flowing toward nightfall

And eventual rest

wilson/06